Helping our Clients Heal

Is Your Couple Ready for Counseling?

A Trauma-Informed Assessment Guide for Therapists

Before launching into traditional Couples Counseling or Discernment Counseling with couples experiencing betrayal trauma,

readiness and safety are everything.

What’s Inside:

Determining Readiness & Safety Measures

This guide provides therapists with a clear, trauma-informed decision-making framework for high-conflict or betrayal-affected couples. Use it to determine when individual therapy should come first – and when therapy can safely begin.

You’ll Learn How to Assess:

  • Emotional Regulation & Stability
    Are either partners too dysregulated to engage meaningfully? Is trauma actively impairing their participation?

  • Cognitive Capacity for Reflection
    Can each partner reflect on their role in the relationship, or are they locked in blame and defensiveness?

  • Relational & Physical Safety
    Is there coercion, emotional abuse, or lingering deception that could make DC unsafe?

  • Crisis Indicators
    What red flags (e.g., suicidality, severe trauma symptoms) require referral to individual treatment before continuing?

Minimum Goals Before DC or Couples Work Begins:

Includes separate checklists for:

  • Betrayed partners: Emotional regulation, safety, and readiness to express needs.

  • Betraying partners: Accountability, emotional control, and transparency.

  • Both partners: Mutual understanding of the DC process and a willingness to engage respectfully.

Safety Measures Included:

  • Grounding practices and session openers

  • Boundaries and time-out strategies

  • Referral protocols for when DC must be paused or discontinued

Trauma-Informed. Field-Tested.

This resource is ideal for therapists who work with:

  • Couples recovering from infidelity or betrayal trauma

  • High-conflict couples unsure about staying together

  • Intensive or retreat-based therapy models

This free resource, created by LaDonna Carey, MA, helps therapists make clinically sound, ethically aligned decisions about when – and if – to begin clinical process.

Here’s the e-book!

Get Your Free Therapist Guide

  • Inside this resource, you’ll discover:
    ~Inside the Guide:

    • A readiness checklist for each partner before starting Discernment Counseling

    • Guidelines for identifying emotional and cognitive stability

    • Criteria to assess relational and physical safety

    • Crisis indicators that require referral to individual therapy

    • Minimum goals each partner must meet before DC can begin

    • Trauma-informed safety measures for use during sessions

    • Clear steps on when to pause or discontinue DC for ethical care

    Questions? Reach me at contact@ladonnacarey.com

Created by LaDonna Carey, MA

With a background in trauma and couples work, LaDonna brings clarity and clinical integrity to this complex decision-making process. Her guide empowers you to protect your clients from retraumatization, set ethical boundaries, and improve long-term outcomes through appropriate pacing.

Are you interested in a no-cost Introduction to Betrayal Trauma video?